Now the movie is a play

So yesterday I found out three things I want to share with you.

1) The difference between the Grammy for Record of the Year and Song of the Year is that the former goes to the artist, engineer and producer, while the latter goes to the composer. In other words, the RotYA rewards performance/recording and the SofYA rewards composition. One day this knowledge will win me a booby prize. I hope booby prize is what I think it is.

If I won a Grammy I would list all the people I didn't want to thank. Like YOU, you parasitic SKANK. Write your own crap.

2) The word 'perks' is short for 'perquisites'. As in, my new job pays badly, but the perquisites are great---you get free food, newspapers, cigarette butts, and anything else you sweep up.

3) I have a bony exostosis.

It is a woman's world. Most jobs are office jobs, which suit the female abilities of talking on the phone, multi-tasking, and forming good working relationships with people who aren't hot. Stereotypically male jobs requiring height or strength are increasingly given to women who can operate ladders and/or push-carts. 90% of Irish medical students are female. This is because the Leaving Cert rewards the female ability to CWS (concentrate while seventeen). Boys at that age are better at pushing each other and being insecure, but these are not on the syllabus. A guy in his Leaving Cert English exam, asked to write a two-page essay on the Witches in MacBeth, only gets so far before his mind wanders.

Witch 1: "When shall we three meet again?"
Witch 2: "When the battle's lost and won."
Witch 3: "Girls, you'll never guess what I got pierced."

I got a C+.