Three-Legged German Shepherd

Hello. Thank you for your attention.

Before I begin, let me address the elephant in the room. I am a three-legged German Shepherd. I hope that won't be an issue.

And to preempt any distractions later on, I want to get something else out of the way. My name is Chihuahua. Yes, I know I am a German Shepherd. Yes, I know there is a breed called Chihuahua. And before you start, I've heard all the jokes. I am indeed awfully big for a Chihuahua. That's because I AM NOT A CHIHUAHUA. It's just a name, like Peter, Meredith or Skipper. I am not "just really fat".

The issue I wish to discuss - excuse me - thank you - THANK YOU - is the vexed question of our nation's ill-considered (if not, in fact, ill-conceived) attitude towards European integration. While on the one hand, we enjoy all the benefits of the common market, we seem oblivious to the deeper historical and geopolitical context that underpins the European project as a whole. I feel it is high time that we, as a nation, re-imagined and re-invigorated our relationship with our continental neighbours and the institutions of the Union itself.

I believe we should call a summit of European leaders to Dublin Castle, and sniff each other's butts.

Thank you.