Two Balls and Three Strikes*

So I think I need some new chat-up lines. Even the very best of the previous bunch scored me a big duck egg (it ended messy).

For comparison, here are some of the oldies. Guy strides nonchalantly up to cute girl and says:

1) Would you like to pee on me? 'Cos I'd sure like to pee on you.

2) Have you ever seen a dead body? 'Cos I've got one back at my place ...

3) People ask me if I'm a serial killer. And I say, yes: if pregnant women count double.

4) And this is a picture of my sister. Yeah, she's fifteen. I have one of her jumpers here. Would you ... wear it for me?

5) Hey, baby. You wanna be in my weblog?


For the new chat-up lines, I am going to use the power of celebrity. Movie stars never have any problems getting women. Not even the 5'3" gay scientologist ones.

1) The Brando: I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse.

2) The Schwarzenegger: I'll be back with the drinks.

3) The Chaplin: (falls head over heels)

4) The Bela Lugosi: I vant to suck your

5) The Pacino: Say hello to my little friend.



*baseball reference no one will quite understand #1