Presidential Address #2

Good evening

My fellow citizens, the time has come to admit to ourselves one inarguable fact. We have failed, despite our best efforts - failed, despite our late-night promises - failed, despite all the collected advice and collective wisdom of ages. We still, my fellow citizens - after everything - we still take ourselves and our problems far too seriously. Who among us, this past year, has really laughed at his or her self the recommended five times a day?

The time has come to take bold action. I propose that every one of us should deliberately fall over at least three times a week.

Thank you