The Office Christmas Special

I’d rather not say it,
You’re all such nice people,
But I’d rather be naked,
Impaled on a steeple,
Than wait any longer,
Perfecting escape routes,
And bearing ill-will t’ward
The men in the grey suits.

A4, A4, it’s no great surprise.
There’s nothing worth reading
They print in your size.

All you nice people,
Good men and women,
It’s not quite the worst job,
All things consid’rin’,
But I can’t see the wide world,
In all of its promise,
‘f I keep winding up
Back in this fxcking office.

A4, A4, it’s no great surprise.
There’s nothing worth reading
They print in your size.

I wish someone would just
Make it all go away.
But the clock says I’m not
Even done for today.